It amazes me how much I feel my husband's love of me. I say that because we come from such different backgrounds. Brian's dad was extremely structured with his kids; I grew up with no structure from my dad at all. I'm not sure I had any rules growing up with my dad - but with that, I was never sure I measured up to his expectations. Because of issues in my family dynamics, my mom sorta gave up on raising me; Brian's "mom" was actually his step-mom, who took to the task of raising not only her own son, but Brian and his sister as well. I was in Brownies - for less than a year. I had to drop out when my mom and step-dad moved 40 miles from my troop. Brian was a Boy Scout. He started in Webelos and participated for many years. His dad was an Assistant Scout Master and an active parent in the troop. Brian was held accountable for his grades in school; I was not only not held accountable for my grades, the importance of GOOD grades was not adequately stressed. And this is just to name a few...
These differences don't REALLY matter - to us - but they do. The difference of where we came from and who the tour guides were in our individual journeys. I sit in awe daily as I watch Brian with our kids, with his quick math calculations, the way he carries himself without thought to what others think, and especially the way he handles money. He has such a strong presence in his life - and as far back as I can remember, he always has. It hasn't come so easy for me. I continued to struggle with feelings of inadequacy until I was 30.
I say this matters because, often, when one is brought up a particular way, it's hard to understand and accept that which is different. Thankfully, Brian and I don't keep secrets from each other, so it was not shocking news when we married that I was in an ocean of bad credit.
We sat tonight, doing our workbook assignments (a different kind of torture from the challenges, but terrifying, none-the-less) and I was captivated by the love Brian extended as he listened to my answers to questions that never pertained to him. Remember my credit report grade? (FAILED) He has never rubbed my nose in it, never put me down for it. His response? "We'll deal with it together." Us. Forever. Unconditional. Wow.
With that response and his continual support, how could I ever possibly be anything but excited to do my part of contributing to our family - even if by means of enveloping snowboarding / skydiving money for our budget so we can become completely debt free - to live as no one else?
Love is an amazing thing. It's accepting. It's nurturing. It's freeing. It's inspiring. I am blessed to have all of this in my best friend, my partner, my gift from our Creator.
These differences don't REALLY matter - to us - but they do. The difference of where we came from and who the tour guides were in our individual journeys. I sit in awe daily as I watch Brian with our kids, with his quick math calculations, the way he carries himself without thought to what others think, and especially the way he handles money. He has such a strong presence in his life - and as far back as I can remember, he always has. It hasn't come so easy for me. I continued to struggle with feelings of inadequacy until I was 30.
I say this matters because, often, when one is brought up a particular way, it's hard to understand and accept that which is different. Thankfully, Brian and I don't keep secrets from each other, so it was not shocking news when we married that I was in an ocean of bad credit.
We sat tonight, doing our workbook assignments (a different kind of torture from the challenges, but terrifying, none-the-less) and I was captivated by the love Brian extended as he listened to my answers to questions that never pertained to him. Remember my credit report grade? (FAILED) He has never rubbed my nose in it, never put me down for it. His response? "We'll deal with it together." Us. Forever. Unconditional. Wow.
With that response and his continual support, how could I ever possibly be anything but excited to do my part of contributing to our family - even if by means of enveloping snowboarding / skydiving money for our budget so we can become completely debt free - to live as no one else?
Love is an amazing thing. It's accepting. It's nurturing. It's freeing. It's inspiring. I am blessed to have all of this in my best friend, my partner, my gift from our Creator.
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