To CHANGE - from something to something different; transformation.
It's the only way I can describe what's happened in my life since June as far as my finances go.
Frazzled weekend. The kids are bouncing off the walls with arguments, there's frantic planning and packing for the boys' camping trip the last weekend before school begins and it's total chaos. I retreated to the bedroom, to try to find my sanity.
I'm not reading a good book right now, I don't watch television, I finished my hand-written correspondence with friends and family for the week...what is there to do?
After being MIA for about a half hour, Brian was on a mission to find me. (and make sure I wasn't bald =) He stopped short when he finally found me: sitting on our bed, envelopes spread out in front of me, calculating and re-calculating what has been saved, the difference between already saved and the actual savings goal, and figuring out other envelopes I can start to contribute to our family's financial freedom.
He reminded me that just 3 months ago, I clammed up at the THOUGHT of talking about money. He reminded me that I lost all vocal capabilities and had to write my side of conversations about money. He reminded me how much money FREAKS ME OUT!
He pointed out this change in behavior. He shook his head in love and encouragement and said it is amazing that when life gets out of control now, he no longer finds me buried in a good book - instead, I'm up to my knees in (growing fatter) envelopes, calculator, scratch paper and a broad smile.
NEVER in my wildest dreams would I have thought it imaginable, let alone possible, that when it comes to money, my panic would turn to peace. I find comfort in knowing there is money in my possession and that it has a function and a purpose - and I get to choose that function and purpose! - and that the effort of changing my spending habits has had such a powerful, helpful impact on my family.
There's a song called This is how We Overcome - and I find it fitting for a theme song for me...only I would add "You have turned my Panic into Peace!"
It's the only way I can describe what's happened in my life since June as far as my finances go.
Frazzled weekend. The kids are bouncing off the walls with arguments, there's frantic planning and packing for the boys' camping trip the last weekend before school begins and it's total chaos. I retreated to the bedroom, to try to find my sanity.
I'm not reading a good book right now, I don't watch television, I finished my hand-written correspondence with friends and family for the week...what is there to do?
After being MIA for about a half hour, Brian was on a mission to find me. (and make sure I wasn't bald =) He stopped short when he finally found me: sitting on our bed, envelopes spread out in front of me, calculating and re-calculating what has been saved, the difference between already saved and the actual savings goal, and figuring out other envelopes I can start to contribute to our family's financial freedom.
He reminded me that just 3 months ago, I clammed up at the THOUGHT of talking about money. He reminded me that I lost all vocal capabilities and had to write my side of conversations about money. He reminded me how much money FREAKS ME OUT!
He pointed out this change in behavior. He shook his head in love and encouragement and said it is amazing that when life gets out of control now, he no longer finds me buried in a good book - instead, I'm up to my knees in (growing fatter) envelopes, calculator, scratch paper and a broad smile.
NEVER in my wildest dreams would I have thought it imaginable, let alone possible, that when it comes to money, my panic would turn to peace. I find comfort in knowing there is money in my possession and that it has a function and a purpose - and I get to choose that function and purpose! - and that the effort of changing my spending habits has had such a powerful, helpful impact on my family.
There's a song called This is how We Overcome - and I find it fitting for a theme song for me...only I would add "You have turned my Panic into Peace!"
2 comments:
Wow! I was just looking at your ticker.. you've paid off over $10,000 - holy crap! that's amazing. Here's a blog post idea.. give me your top 5 things you can do to reduce your debt fast.
That is truly amazing! Congrats!
We are at your "before" part of the story. My husband brings up dollar signs and I dash away like a deer in the woods. I wish I could grow more confident about our finances. Congrats to you for working on it!
Anyway, thank you for your comment! I love knowing I have readers :) Fighting can be such a nightmare because even while it happens, I stand there knowing full well that none of it makes sense and I just want to kiss and make up. But, that means I have to put my pride away.. I NEED to put my pride away. Ewwww, pride can be an ugly word sometimes.
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